The Beefonomicon Explained, Explicated, Eruditely Elucidated by BEEFUS
Through various visits to your planet and observing your species, we have noticed an odd trend amongst a small subset of modern humans. That is the irrational idea for some to cling to old ways, or reminisce about the olden days… The belief that somehow life without advancements of technology was in some ways better. It even seems to run unchecked with your governments as they cling to old religious texts that tell of long dead generations that suffered untold hardships through misunderstanding of the events of the time. Clearly not seeing the great technology of the third evolutionary epoch for what it truly was.
When blind devotion outpaces technological advancements, the results will be regression, hardship, and suffering and can lead to outright extinction. The current proliferation of hominids does not yet grasp that they are in the fourth round of mammalian civilizations to exist after the others were wiped out by massive global calamities, burying them under miles of silt and bedrock. Technology was not what failed the previous epochs but the spread of corruption and belief in false narratives each and every time. And it seems the path of the fourth epoch may be no different.
There is always time for your species to figure out the true meaning of technology, and that is to free the populace from the mundane, and let them explore and generate excellence through achievement and devotion to craft. Perhaps it may be best to show you a glimpse into the earlier epochs, to demonstrate how clinging to the past may not be the grand foundation to base your beliefs around.
We welcome back a very special entity, to impart to you a glorious, re-enacted piece of long forgotten historical solarion galactic lore, the almighty anti-rock outfit BEEFUS!! They will sizzle your sawteeth with sensational soliloquies slathered in Seginusian sloggleslesh. For those that even know what that is, we know just how psyched you are!! So come join in on this amazing learning opportunity, where you can even call into a mysterious number to heighten the experience. This will be a very unique adventure unlike any earth has seen before, so please make sure you are not standing while viewing this, as temporal disruptions are likely to occur. Most are harmless, some pleasant even, but some leave ever last impacts of extra spatial awareness that may be hard to forget, even beyond the living form. Something you refer to as schizophrenia I believe…
Anyways forget all that and come enjoy the show over at www.thespaceship.tv . This will be another free show as we pass back through to another universe far away for an opportunity sadly you humans will never be able to enjoy with your primitive 5 sense mind. (There are 4 additional senses required to enjoy said event that you sadly have no idea exist) We felt you may need some additional musical energies as we have been away for a bit.
Make sure to tip your humanoid art tenders at paypal.me/TheSpaceshiptv as this solar revolution seems particularly hard for humanity. It appears the ruling class lately has been drunk on archaic ruminations they really know nothing about save for the false platitudes of professed prophets. Maybe it is time for another flood event, you better just hope the Arlaxians don’t come back this way like did close to 13,000 revolutions ago now.
For more information on Beefus, please visit the following links:
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